Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Tyre burning saves lives

Rugby residents were faced yesterday in the High Court with the possibility of lives being lost if tyre burning was not allowed to continue. Confronted by the dreadful possibility that tyre burning might stop, (shock, horror) the Environment Agency were very afraid for Rugby residents, who have only recently started enjoying "the benefit" of having 50 tonnes of tyres burnt as a partial replacement for coal at the cement works, out of the 8,000 tonnes of material burnt daily.

RBC responded to the crisis immediately by calling an emergency meeting of the air quality monitoring group to sell off the monitors as quickly as possible before air quality gets worse.

There has been a rush at the shops for used tyres as word got out, and rumour has it that in order to help Rugby residents who are imminently facing this deprivation, all solid fuel Agas and Rayburns are to be converted to tyre burning. It is calculated that even 10,000 Agas would not make up the "pollution benefit" from one tyre burning cement plant, so an emergency motion is to be put to the RBC cabinet to force all Rugby residents to apply for IPPC Permits, and to buy solid/chipped tyre fuel Agas/Rayburns to clean up Rugby air. Some households may be eligible for free tyre-burners and should contact RBC direct and ask for Mr Dawson.

1 comment:

train traveller said...

This "net benefit" is a completely new concept, and will need a completely new means of measurement as conventional scales will not suffice. May we suggest the "units of benefit" accrued by Rugby residents, and by others in the vicinity of kilns "benefitting" from the burning of tyres, as opposed to the detriment endured from the burning of coal, shall be recorded in terms of "Elvins per day".

This could be reported on the weather and pollen forecast, along with severe pollution episodes. Tomorrow in Rugby 48 tonnes of tyres will be burnt in the pre-calciner at the especially low temperature of 800 degrees centrigrade, in a diminshed supply of oxygen. This is out of an installation total of 800 tonnes of fuel(coal) and 7,500 tonnes of raw materials - some substituted by various industrial wastes. This is anticipated to lead to a net benefit of 27 Elvins, and local residemts may leave home without their gas masks tomorrow.

Unfortunately the day after, because the supply of tyres has run low, all residents are advised to take a precautionary approach as minus 57 Elvins is forecast, and those without gas masks are advised to stay at home, or not to breathe whilst travelling within a one mile radius of the Rugby plant.

The long term forecast is much better with a bright 36-40 Elvins due next week as fresh supplies of tyres for burning arrive from China. Passengers travelling through Rugby station are advised not to step out of the train for a fag on minus Elvin days.